- The secret to peace is us. I found this point both interesting and convicting. There is a certain person in my life right now, who causes me incredible amounts of grief. I am often in conflict with this person, and my tactic recently has been avoidance. I don't see this person, and I have found incredible peace in that. However, I know that avoiding a situation doesn't correct it. I know there are things that I could do to make peace, but I simply have no desire. The past few months have been good for me. I've found myself 'going to the balcony' and I feel like I understand better where this person is coming from. This time has been valuable to me, but I know that I can't avoid it forever. I have a role to play in making peace. I just have to muster the nerve.
- When you're involved in conflict, you often lose focus. I understand this well. As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I have found myself in many terrifying conversations over the past few years. When I am in the midst of said conversations, I certainly do lose focus. I think about the conversation later, and I think of everything that I should have said. I then spot the numerable flaws in the other parties arguments, and I think, "why couldn't I see it then! We might have one this one." My mind turns to mush when I'm being verbally attacked by a group of angry people. Maybe that's normal, though.
- When you're angry, you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. I wish I had nothing to say on this point, but I unfortunately know this feeling. In the heat of an argument, I have definitely said the wrong things. I am reminded of an argument I had on the school bus in grade 8. Meghan was a rather irritating girl in my class. She was explaining that it's bad for you to wear undergarments whilst you sleep because your body needs to breath. Because cotton is such a stifling fabric. Ridiculous! Seeing the many flaws in that statement, I challenged her. I ended that conversation with, "well at least I have friends!" Childish, I know. I shouldn't have said that to her, whether it was true or not.
During Ury's talk, I remembered back to my high school days. Each day after school, I would come home to watch Dr. Phil. I watched many episodes, but only one episode stands out in my memory now. He was speaking to a young girl who had a very angry father. Pr. Phil explained to this girl that anger is only ever used as a mask. I remember the impact that statement had on me. It made so much sense! My father had quite the temper while I was growing up. He owned his own business and the stress of that had quite an effect on him. Thankfully, he later sold his business, and then became wonderfully jolly. I learned from Dr. Phil to look past the anger and try to understand what's causing it. Then you can focus your attention on that and try and solve the problem. This is something that I need to do more with this person in my life. However, she is a great deal older than myself. I don't think that I'll be able to diagnose her anger issues well, because I haven't known her for very long. I still need to try and look past the anger, though, and try not to take what she says personally.
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